Hello everyone! I know that this is a busy time of year for everyone, but I just wanted to take a minute to update my blog...just incase someone checks in on me!
Last week I went to see Dr. Choban. I was pretty sure I didn't want a fill, but thought I would let her be the judge. I told her that I was not hungry at all until the afternoon. I told her that I do have a tiny problem with head hunger at night, but that it was not a band-problem, just a me-problem. I also told her that I didn't think I needed a fill, but I was afraid NOT to get one, mostly because my insurance will be changing in January and fills will no longer be covered.
She listened to everything I said and to my surprise she suggested that I get a tiny fill. She put .25cc in me. So far I am doing well with it. I have not had any problems, but I really need to work had to eat the right food. Yesterday, I ate ham at a dinner with my Dad, and it went down fine. The day before I ate a chicken leg with no problems. Both of these dinners were served with yummy side dishes that were MUCH easier to eat. I know that it is going to be an effort to get 70gms of protein in now, but I am going to have to give it my best effort. I guess that means back to protein bars and shakes!
As the weight continues to come off (last week I was down 85lbs!) the skin left behind becomes more of an issue. I am still wearing size 18 clothes, although most come off without unbuttoning them! I put a pain of 16 jeans on yesterday and they were baggy in the butt and legs, but gave me a little muffin top. What to do? I guess I will wear my 18's for now and look for the spanks my mom got me last year for christmas. Maybe that will be enough support to control the skin at that top of my jeans and I can wear more of the 16's I have in my closet!
I did talk to Dr. Choban about the skin, and she suggested waiting for 2 years before getting it removed! You can imagine how devastated this made me! She said that the band is a three-year-weight-loss plan, and that I am not even a year out yet. She said that I would want to be closer to goal (I guess her goal and my weight goal are different) before surgery. She also said that I have lost weight closer to a bypass patient and that if I get my protein in, some of the skin will tighten back up. I sure hope this is the case for my arms and legs, but I really think my tummy is a lost cause!
I hope this post was not too much for you guys...I know some of you are not and have never been overweight. These concepts must be completely foreign to you. To me, this has been something I have been struggling with since third grade (at least that is the first time I remember my mom putting me on a diet). Having food lose its control over me has been an amazing blessing that I thank the Lord for every day!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Coming Out
I had a NSV last night at dance class for my DD. I followed Jenna into the bathroom to help her change clothes and the owner of the studio came in after me. I turned around and she was toe to toe with me...and in a soft voice said "ok, me and Becky (the front desk girl) want to know what you are doing to lose all of this weight."
I was taken so off guard. I think this was the first time someone I was not "out" to said something about it. I chuckled and told her that is was a combo of having the LAP-BAND®, eating 1500 ish cals a day and working out. She seemed to only hear the LAP-BAND® part and was full of questions. I gladly answered them and then she left to go back out in the studio.
After she left I wanted to cry. I was not sure if it was an emotional release of the joy that comes with how far I have came, or if I was worried that the small town dance studio would be buzzing with the news of my surgery! Either way, I wondered how I would handle it when the day came, and I guess I got my answer!
Other news, I am officially down 81.2 lbs! Yeah Me!
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I was taken so off guard. I think this was the first time someone I was not "out" to said something about it. I chuckled and told her that is was a combo of having the LAP-BAND®, eating 1500 ish cals a day and working out. She seemed to only hear the LAP-BAND® part and was full of questions. I gladly answered them and then she left to go back out in the studio.
After she left I wanted to cry. I was not sure if it was an emotional release of the joy that comes with how far I have came, or if I was worried that the small town dance studio would be buzzing with the news of my surgery! Either way, I wondered how I would handle it when the day came, and I guess I got my answer!
Other news, I am officially down 81.2 lbs! Yeah Me!
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Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Scale down!
After what seems like forever, the scale moved again today! Yipee! Down 78.2 lbs! I have ate a bit more calories lately because I was wondering if that was the problem, and success!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Cold Feet!
I remember my first informational meeting 2 years ago about lap band surgery. It was at Mt Carmel West, and Dr Choban and Melissa (her nurse who had bypass surgery 8 years before) spoke. I remember listening and talking notes about everything, in hopes of coming home and convincing my Hubby that I was a good candidate for lap band.
Melissa made the comment that we (all of the "fat" people in the room) were so used to not being cold, and not wearing a winter coat and that we would have to invest in one that first fall following surgery. I laughed, because that has been the running joke in my family for as long as I can remember. My Dad is always on my case about not wearing a jacket, and even gets on Russ' case about not making me wear one.
That has changed, big time! I am 8 months post op and down about 75 lbs and I am freezing all the time. I not only dug out the bubble jacket Russ bought for me 4 years ago, but I bought gloves to match.
I not only wear them to and from the car, but I leave them on the entire ride. I also keep the heat running in the car to an annoying level for my family. About once a day, my daughter, Jenna cries to "Turn my COLD air on high Mommy!" I feel bad about steaming everyone out, but I just can't get warm!
I wonder why this happens and how long will it last? Is is something that is present during weight loss, and once I hit goal things will level out? I sure hope so, or Katie Holmes is not going to be the only one in July wearing sweaters! Heck, and who can afford to heat my house all winter long like this?
Just another side effect of weight loss surgery that I thought you should know about!
Melissa made the comment that we (all of the "fat" people in the room) were so used to not being cold, and not wearing a winter coat and that we would have to invest in one that first fall following surgery. I laughed, because that has been the running joke in my family for as long as I can remember. My Dad is always on my case about not wearing a jacket, and even gets on Russ' case about not making me wear one.
That has changed, big time! I am 8 months post op and down about 75 lbs and I am freezing all the time. I not only dug out the bubble jacket Russ bought for me 4 years ago, but I bought gloves to match.
I not only wear them to and from the car, but I leave them on the entire ride. I also keep the heat running in the car to an annoying level for my family. About once a day, my daughter, Jenna cries to "Turn my COLD air on high Mommy!" I feel bad about steaming everyone out, but I just can't get warm!
I wonder why this happens and how long will it last? Is is something that is present during weight loss, and once I hit goal things will level out? I sure hope so, or Katie Holmes is not going to be the only one in July wearing sweaters! Heck, and who can afford to heat my house all winter long like this?
Just another side effect of weight loss surgery that I thought you should know about!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Happy Halloween!
It is 3:30am, and I am at work. Tired and cranky, again!
Today is Halloween and we plan on taking the kids Trick-0r-Treating this evening around 6pm. I have told myself that the kids can have the candy for the weekend, then it is OUT of the house. I might be willing to keep the smarties for the kids lunch, but that is about it.
I am finally starting to feel better. I have 2 or 3 days left of my antibiotics and I am done with the steroids. Breathing is unlabored now. I guess that means I need to get my butt moving again!
I went for another fill last week. She put another .5 cc's in. I am at a good restriction. I really don't think I need any more fluid, just need to make good choices! Protein, Protein, Protein!
The scales are moving again. I am down 71 lbs as of this morning. Not bad for 7.5 months! I am loving the way clothes are fitting now! I am wearing size 17 jeans and they are not even a bit tight! Yipee!
I better get off of the computer now and get back to work. Hope all is well with everyone!
Today is Halloween and we plan on taking the kids Trick-0r-Treating this evening around 6pm. I have told myself that the kids can have the candy for the weekend, then it is OUT of the house. I might be willing to keep the smarties for the kids lunch, but that is about it.
I am finally starting to feel better. I have 2 or 3 days left of my antibiotics and I am done with the steroids. Breathing is unlabored now. I guess that means I need to get my butt moving again!
I went for another fill last week. She put another .5 cc's in. I am at a good restriction. I really don't think I need any more fluid, just need to make good choices! Protein, Protein, Protein!
The scales are moving again. I am down 71 lbs as of this morning. Not bad for 7.5 months! I am loving the way clothes are fitting now! I am wearing size 17 jeans and they are not even a bit tight! Yipee!
I better get off of the computer now and get back to work. Hope all is well with everyone!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
I'm Still Breathing
Hey there! I am here...still breathing--barely! This virus has officially kick my butt to the curb! I went back to the doctor on Monday, and she gave me a breathing treatment in the office. I was not moving air in my lower lobes. She also put me on an antibiotic to cover pneumonia, a steroid pack, and a new steroid inhaler! Yippee! Bring on the increased appetite and "roid rage" from the steroids! They should have me looking nice and round by Halloween. I guess I won't need a costume; I will go as a pumpkin!
I am going to see Dr. Choban this afternoon. I am going to fill her in on all of the deep wrenching coughing I have been doing. I am hoping she is going to tell me that there has not been any damage to the band. That would be the last thing I need...it would put me over the edge!
If this post sounds depressing, it is because I am. I can't exercise, I get winded talking, I feel like crap, and I have been eating like crap, too!
Oh, and one of my best friend's husband had a heart attack on Saturday. His main vessel is 100% blocked, he is in CHF and his heart is only working at 10%! Pretty sucky for a 49yr old with 5 kids at home, ages 17 to 3!
I guess that is enough cranking for now. I will update later.
I am going to see Dr. Choban this afternoon. I am going to fill her in on all of the deep wrenching coughing I have been doing. I am hoping she is going to tell me that there has not been any damage to the band. That would be the last thing I need...it would put me over the edge!
If this post sounds depressing, it is because I am. I can't exercise, I get winded talking, I feel like crap, and I have been eating like crap, too!
Oh, and one of my best friend's husband had a heart attack on Saturday. His main vessel is 100% blocked, he is in CHF and his heart is only working at 10%! Pretty sucky for a 49yr old with 5 kids at home, ages 17 to 3!
I guess that is enough cranking for now. I will update later.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
I did it AGAIN!
3 Musketeers=2 bars (140 cal, 4.5 gm fat)
Butterfingers=4 bars (400 cal, 16 gm fat)
Nestle Crunch bar= 2 bars (100 cal, 5 gm fat)
Grand Total=640 cals, 25.5 gm fat All in the matter of 3 minutes time!
Ugh! On that note I am going to go for a walk now...
Butterfingers=4 bars (400 cal, 16 gm fat)
Nestle Crunch bar= 2 bars (100 cal, 5 gm fat)
Grand Total=640 cals, 25.5 gm fat All in the matter of 3 minutes time!
Ugh! On that note I am going to go for a walk now...
Still Here
I am still here, still pluggin' away at this weight loss thang! My last weigh in was Monday, and I was down 64.2 lbs. I know in my head I need to be thankful for this, especially since I have not been the best bandster lately!
Halloween candy is killing me! I need to get it out of my house! We went camping last weekend and the kids went Trick or Treating. I told myself I was going to use the candy to pass out on the 31st, but the stash is slowly dwindling! It seems like 2pm brings about a huge chocolate craving and I dive in, head first into the bowl! I hate myself afterwards, and I know that going into the binge, but it doesn't stop me for starting in the first place!
My exercise has been sporadic, too. Our membership has expired, and we are planning on renewing it, but it has not happened. You would think that I would take advantage of the great weather, but I have only done so a few times! I am fighting a cold, and breathing is not exactly easy, so I keep using this as my excuse. How Lame!!!
I am telling myself that I am going to the park this afternoon after I drop Rusty at preschool. I need to do. I owe it to myself to do it! I feel so much better afterwards! I will let you know if it happens!
Halloween candy is killing me! I need to get it out of my house! We went camping last weekend and the kids went Trick or Treating. I told myself I was going to use the candy to pass out on the 31st, but the stash is slowly dwindling! It seems like 2pm brings about a huge chocolate craving and I dive in, head first into the bowl! I hate myself afterwards, and I know that going into the binge, but it doesn't stop me for starting in the first place!
My exercise has been sporadic, too. Our membership has expired, and we are planning on renewing it, but it has not happened. You would think that I would take advantage of the great weather, but I have only done so a few times! I am fighting a cold, and breathing is not exactly easy, so I keep using this as my excuse. How Lame!!!
I am telling myself that I am going to the park this afternoon after I drop Rusty at preschool. I need to do. I owe it to myself to do it! I feel so much better afterwards! I will let you know if it happens!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Still Here...
This has to be quick. Both of my "babies" started school today, and I am in the middle of running them here and there.
My son started preschool. He will go for 2.5 hours every Tuesday and Thursday. He was not nervous at all. We have spent the last two years there with my DD, so he pretty much has the run of the place. His words this afternoon when I picked him up from school, "That was AWESOME!" I was hard to have my baby gone, but knowing he was having a great time sure puts a Mom at ease!
Oh, and Mrs. Nelson (the preschool teacher) informed me that my son decieded that he was going to go by "G" at school this year. Not Rusty, Junior, Gilly, Gill...or any of his other nicknames. So that is it...my son, G!
I am leaving to pick up my DD Jenna from her first day of Kindergarden. I am a little more concerned about her and the effect of a fill day of school on her little 5 year old body! Not to mention competion dance lessons two nights a week, Cheerleading twice a week, homework, and Family Time!
This morning when we all (Mom, Dad, "G") walked her into school I could feel the excitement in her body! She looked at me (holding her hand) and said "Mom, I am a little nervous. Actually, I am a lot nervous!"
I told her that it was good to be a little nervous, and it meant that she was excited. I also told her that every other kid there was feeling the same things she was feeling!
We got to her room and I took a pic with her teacher, Mrs. Ingland. I helped her find her hook, took a pic of her hanging her bags and lunch box up, and then one more of Jenna sitting at the desk. Mommy, Daddy and G gave her kisses and hugs, Daddy sneeked in a second kiss and then we were out the door!
My sister, a elementary teacher, warned me of the dangers of "hanging around" the first morning. I promised her I wouldn't linger, and we didn't. We did take a walk to some of the other Kindergarten rooms to say hello to a few of her friends from preschool. It looked like they all would be together for recess, although with 7 Kindergarten classes, I am not sure how that is possible.
We made the loop around to Jenna's room, and took a peak in. She was smiling and coloring on the dry erase board with a few classmates. Ahhhh. Mommy and Daddy's were able to finally breathe...she was doing well!
I will add more later!
Oh, and it is Tuesday...down 56lbs...I hope my fill last weeks continues to break the plateau I was having!
My son started preschool. He will go for 2.5 hours every Tuesday and Thursday. He was not nervous at all. We have spent the last two years there with my DD, so he pretty much has the run of the place. His words this afternoon when I picked him up from school, "That was AWESOME!" I was hard to have my baby gone, but knowing he was having a great time sure puts a Mom at ease!
Oh, and Mrs. Nelson (the preschool teacher) informed me that my son decieded that he was going to go by "G" at school this year. Not Rusty, Junior, Gilly, Gill...or any of his other nicknames. So that is it...my son, G!
I am leaving to pick up my DD Jenna from her first day of Kindergarden. I am a little more concerned about her and the effect of a fill day of school on her little 5 year old body! Not to mention competion dance lessons two nights a week, Cheerleading twice a week, homework, and Family Time!
This morning when we all (Mom, Dad, "G") walked her into school I could feel the excitement in her body! She looked at me (holding her hand) and said "Mom, I am a little nervous. Actually, I am a lot nervous!"
I told her that it was good to be a little nervous, and it meant that she was excited. I also told her that every other kid there was feeling the same things she was feeling!
We got to her room and I took a pic with her teacher, Mrs. Ingland. I helped her find her hook, took a pic of her hanging her bags and lunch box up, and then one more of Jenna sitting at the desk. Mommy, Daddy and G gave her kisses and hugs, Daddy sneeked in a second kiss and then we were out the door!
My sister, a elementary teacher, warned me of the dangers of "hanging around" the first morning. I promised her I wouldn't linger, and we didn't. We did take a walk to some of the other Kindergarten rooms to say hello to a few of her friends from preschool. It looked like they all would be together for recess, although with 7 Kindergarten classes, I am not sure how that is possible.
We made the loop around to Jenna's room, and took a peak in. She was smiling and coloring on the dry erase board with a few classmates. Ahhhh. Mommy and Daddy's were able to finally breathe...she was doing well!
I will add more later!
Oh, and it is Tuesday...down 56lbs...I hope my fill last weeks continues to break the plateau I was having!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Long Time No Blog!
Sorry I have MIA for so long. We have had a very busy summer! I feel like we need a day to do nothing, but I don't see that in our future any time soon.
Life with my band has been amazing. We have been to the Ohio State Fair, several trips to Kings Island, Cincinnati Reds games, and a ton of summer cook outs, and I am still managing to lose weight! As of last Friday, I was down 52 lbs! Tomorrow is Tuesday, so I will have an official number then!
I am scheduled for a fill in a week or two, and I am not sure I am going to need one. I am not hungry most days, so I am able to make healthy food choices. I am also not filled too tight, so I can eat about anything I want. I am afraid to not get any at all, and have something happen to my restriction....maybe I will ask for .5 cc's?!?!
Hope everyone is have a wonderful August!
Life with my band has been amazing. We have been to the Ohio State Fair, several trips to Kings Island, Cincinnati Reds games, and a ton of summer cook outs, and I am still managing to lose weight! As of last Friday, I was down 52 lbs! Tomorrow is Tuesday, so I will have an official number then!
I am scheduled for a fill in a week or two, and I am not sure I am going to need one. I am not hungry most days, so I am able to make healthy food choices. I am also not filled too tight, so I can eat about anything I want. I am afraid to not get any at all, and have something happen to my restriction....maybe I will ask for .5 cc's?!?!
Hope everyone is have a wonderful August!
Friday, August 1, 2008
Cha-Cha-Cha
Well, I am glad to say my back is on the mend--finally! I can sleep for 7 hours without any prescription drugs, and feel about 80% normal (what ever that is!?!?!) Yeah for me.
I am in the middle of a two day stretch at work. Why am I not sleeping right now? Apparently people don't understand that calling me at 3pm is like most people receiving a call at 3am! Ah, the life of a nurse!
Oh, my "bug" is still hanging around. Last night my belly was so distended that I looked like I could have been one of our laboring patients! I guess the Imodium I took was just keeping all of that funk inside of me...well, at least until I got home this morning! I guess I just needed the comfort of my own potty to um...let it loose! Sorry, TMI!
I am in the middle of a two day stretch at work. Why am I not sleeping right now? Apparently people don't understand that calling me at 3pm is like most people receiving a call at 3am! Ah, the life of a nurse!
Oh, my "bug" is still hanging around. Last night my belly was so distended that I looked like I could have been one of our laboring patients! I guess the Imodium I took was just keeping all of that funk inside of me...well, at least until I got home this morning! I guess I just needed the comfort of my own potty to um...let it loose! Sorry, TMI!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Another Tuesday!
Today is Tuesday, and that means another weigh-in. It is kinda funny, but I was not really worried about today. I have had the flu bug for the last two days, so I know I am not eating anywhere near the calories that I am expelling (nice way to put it)!
So....I am down 46lbs! That would make it 4 lbs this week! I am really excited about that, but I am a little about what it is going to do to next weeks weigh-in. Really, I am just hoping to stay the same next week.
Oh, and I had my third fill last Thursday. She only put in 1cc, and I was hoping for 2cc's, but I won't complain (at least while the scales are still moving!)
So....I am down 46lbs! That would make it 4 lbs this week! I am really excited about that, but I am a little about what it is going to do to next weeks weigh-in. Really, I am just hoping to stay the same next week.
Oh, and I had my third fill last Thursday. She only put in 1cc, and I was hoping for 2cc's, but I won't complain (at least while the scales are still moving!)
Monday, July 21, 2008
Finally Measuring Up!
Thanks for the well wishes on my back. Things are pretty much the same, although swimming in the water seems to help. I am planning on going back to work on Thursday, I will just take it easy.
I finally did my measurements. I was very excited to have lost a total of 14.75 inches thus far! The breakdown was :
BUST= down .25"
WAIST= down 8.5"
HIPS= down 2.75"
Thigh=down 2.5"
Biceps= down .75"
Not bad for 4 months!
I finally did my measurements. I was very excited to have lost a total of 14.75 inches thus far! The breakdown was :
BUST= down .25"
WAIST= down 8.5"
HIPS= down 2.75"
Thigh=down 2.5"
Biceps= down .75"
Not bad for 4 months!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Pain in the Back!
Last Thursday night I hurt my back at work. I am not sure what I did, but it is a "pinching-take-your-breath-away" pain that seems to be worse in the morning and after sitting for a while.
I called off work last night and got into the doctor today. He thinks it is muscle, not a nerve injury. I am happy about that.
He said "2-4 weeks and these things usually heal up on their own." Not so happy about that.
He also said no NSAID's bc of the band, even though I told him the Tylenol does not help.
He gave me Flexeril to help me sleep, but here I am at 1 am on the puter, bc laying in bed is a bitch.
Soooooo, the no exercise, TOM and lack of a fill is going to make this an ugly week!
I called off work last night and got into the doctor today. He thinks it is muscle, not a nerve injury. I am happy about that.
He said "2-4 weeks and these things usually heal up on their own." Not so happy about that.
He also said no NSAID's bc of the band, even though I told him the Tylenol does not help.
He gave me Flexeril to help me sleep, but here I am at 1 am on the puter, bc laying in bed is a bitch.
Soooooo, the no exercise, TOM and lack of a fill is going to make this an ugly week!
4 Months!
Short and Sweet...4 months out from surgery and I am down 41 lbs. Yeah! I plan on doing measurements this week and will update later.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
4th of July, and more
My family had a great holiday, going to the REDS, the city pool, downtown Columbus for Red White and Boom...I on the other hand worked! Things were crazy at work, too. The hot July weather and cookouts tend to send women in labor, so it never fails we are busy on the 4th. I usually don't mind missing out on weekend activities with the kids. I figure that it is better for them than daycare would be...but this year I felt really bummed. They were really excited and enjoyed the fireworks for the first time, and when they kissed me goodnight on Thurs and Friday morning, they were upset that I could not be downstaffed.
Don't let me fool you, nurses (especially night shift) are known to eat. Any holiday is an excuse to bring food in. I tried to make decent choices, and even brought strawberries, ff angle food cake and light cool whip to share, but I also had some of the other not-so-fat-free dishes. All in all, it was a ton less than I would have ate in years past!
Either way, today is hump-day, and that means the weekly meeting with my scale. I was less than excited to step in it, and even tried to thing of every excuse in the book as to why I should skip it this week. Nevertheless, I did it, and....down .3 lbs. WOW, I was so excited. That put me down 39.3 lbs. I am still going to try to make the 40 lb mark by my 4 month bandaversary on the 12. Wish me luck!
Don't let me fool you, nurses (especially night shift) are known to eat. Any holiday is an excuse to bring food in. I tried to make decent choices, and even brought strawberries, ff angle food cake and light cool whip to share, but I also had some of the other not-so-fat-free dishes. All in all, it was a ton less than I would have ate in years past!
Either way, today is hump-day, and that means the weekly meeting with my scale. I was less than excited to step in it, and even tried to thing of every excuse in the book as to why I should skip it this week. Nevertheless, I did it, and....down .3 lbs. WOW, I was so excited. That put me down 39.3 lbs. I am still going to try to make the 40 lb mark by my 4 month bandaversary on the 12. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
NSV Baby!!!
NSV, or non-scale victory, is a term used to describe an event, other than actual weight loss, worth celebrating . It is another way to measure success, especially when the scale is not always your friend. It happened to me the other night at work...I didn't even realize it happened until I looked down and...My legs were crossed!
It felt so natural, like I had never stopped being able to do it. I started laughing and the girls at work were like "what is so funny." I told them and they were all very supportive. Ahhh, it was a good day!
Oh, and today started my weekly weigh-in. I am not going to let myself get on the scale any more often than that. I tend to obsess about it, and it leads to binge eating...so the scale was my friend...down 39lbs. Yah! I think I broke the plateau!
It felt so natural, like I had never stopped being able to do it. I started laughing and the girls at work were like "what is so funny." I told them and they were all very supportive. Ahhh, it was a good day!
Oh, and today started my weekly weigh-in. I am not going to let myself get on the scale any more often than that. I tend to obsess about it, and it leads to binge eating...so the scale was my friend...down 39lbs. Yah! I think I broke the plateau!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
The good, the bad and the UGLY!!!
I have been stuck at the 36/37 lb mark for a few weeks now, and I have no one to blame but myself. I have not exercised like I should be, and I am eating out WAY too much. I am trying to make good decisions at restaurants, but it still is more cals/fat than I should be getting. Oh, and I have not tracked my food since my last fill...what the heck am I doing???
I fought for this tool for over a year, and now, three months out, I am already starting to abuse it? Some bandster I am!
Last night was a perfect example. I had gone all day eating wonderfully. Probably even below my target calories. I put the kids to bed, headed downstairs to catch up on Tivo, and boom...the binge started. Four granola bars later (and a pop tart, too) I had consumed an additional 730 cals in the matter of 10 minutes. Ugh, that is sooo disgusting.
Now I know that my band is not at the perfect fill level, but that is no excuse! It is only a tool, not a magic fix to a lifetime of poor eating choices! I need to make the effort and work WITH the band! If I want to be successful and meet my goal of 100 lbs lost in a year, I am going to have to step it up!
So today is a new day, and I am going to try to get it right. I guess that is all I can do at this point. Yesterday is over, and I am given a new day to get it right!
I fought for this tool for over a year, and now, three months out, I am already starting to abuse it? Some bandster I am!
Last night was a perfect example. I had gone all day eating wonderfully. Probably even below my target calories. I put the kids to bed, headed downstairs to catch up on Tivo, and boom...the binge started. Four granola bars later (and a pop tart, too) I had consumed an additional 730 cals in the matter of 10 minutes. Ugh, that is sooo disgusting.
Now I know that my band is not at the perfect fill level, but that is no excuse! It is only a tool, not a magic fix to a lifetime of poor eating choices! I need to make the effort and work WITH the band! If I want to be successful and meet my goal of 100 lbs lost in a year, I am going to have to step it up!
So today is a new day, and I am going to try to get it right. I guess that is all I can do at this point. Yesterday is over, and I am given a new day to get it right!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Hello Again!
Thursday morning was not one of my better moments! My FIL (moved in with us when my MIL had a stroke in 06) made scrambled eggs and sausage for the kids. This was a nice gesture, don't get me wrong, but it would have been a really nice gesture if he would have asked them what they wanted to eat first. Having a 3 yr old and 5 yr old makes it hard to anticipate what foods they like week to week, and it has been at least two years since they have eaten eggs of any kind!
I woke up to the huffing and puffing he does when he gets upset with them (strike one) and realized the situation. I thanked him for letting me sleep in, and told him I would handle it. He went to work upstairs to work from home for the day (strike two). I made the kids what they wanted to eat, and sat down to eat their eggs.
I normally don't eat solid food for breakfast. I am never hungry in the morning, and my band is tighter in the am, too. I tend to just sick with coffee and fruit, but the guilt of throwing away food that he had made was getting the best of me. I started with a few bites of egg. They were a little dry, actually they were a lot dry, but they seemed to go down ok. I took two bites of sausage, and stopped. Uhhhh, very slow to go down. I waited for a minute, and had one more bite of eggs--wrong thing to do!
I immediately got up and started pacing. It was stuck, pressure and pain were getting worse, and the anxiety and slime process started! I was short of breath and just kept spitting more saliva. I felt like I wanted to puke, but I was scared. I have never done that with the band, but I had read about others who have (referred to as a PB). I was kept fighting the urge, and then...Hack! HELLO AGAIN! It was the egg and sausage, with a ton of frothy slime! YUCK! OMG!
I immediately felt better. The pain, pressure and anxiety were gone. I was able to go about my day fine. I suck to my coffee and banana for breakfast, and was able to eat normally for lunch and dinner. I guess it was a learning experience. I am going to remember this awful situation, and try to avoid it at all costs!
I woke up to the huffing and puffing he does when he gets upset with them (strike one) and realized the situation. I thanked him for letting me sleep in, and told him I would handle it. He went to work upstairs to work from home for the day (strike two). I made the kids what they wanted to eat, and sat down to eat their eggs.
I normally don't eat solid food for breakfast. I am never hungry in the morning, and my band is tighter in the am, too. I tend to just sick with coffee and fruit, but the guilt of throwing away food that he had made was getting the best of me. I started with a few bites of egg. They were a little dry, actually they were a lot dry, but they seemed to go down ok. I took two bites of sausage, and stopped. Uhhhh, very slow to go down. I waited for a minute, and had one more bite of eggs--wrong thing to do!
I immediately got up and started pacing. It was stuck, pressure and pain were getting worse, and the anxiety and slime process started! I was short of breath and just kept spitting more saliva. I felt like I wanted to puke, but I was scared. I have never done that with the band, but I had read about others who have (referred to as a PB). I was kept fighting the urge, and then...Hack! HELLO AGAIN! It was the egg and sausage, with a ton of frothy slime! YUCK! OMG!
I immediately felt better. The pain, pressure and anxiety were gone. I was able to go about my day fine. I suck to my coffee and banana for breakfast, and was able to eat normally for lunch and dinner. I guess it was a learning experience. I am going to remember this awful situation, and try to avoid it at all costs!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Where'd it go?
OK, for those that don't know, I am married to a computer guy. He is really great at what he does, and he provides a comfortable lifestyle for our family. That being said...I HATE computers! And from what I have experienced over the years, it is a mutual loathing! The most recent battle is about the disappearing act performed by my last post!
I was a good girl on Monday and typed all about my weekend, and the choices I had made. I thought I had loaded it to my blog successfully, but today it is not there. I guess it is floating out in cyberspace (is that one word?) somewhere.
Anyway, the skinny (pun intended) of it went something like:
-working nights sucks, but I love the people I work with and my job is pretty awesome, too
-people are starting to notice and say things, guess I need to figure out how to take a
compliment
-I tend to eat better while at work, I guess I figure people are watching me there
Hope this post finds you doing well!
n.
I was a good girl on Monday and typed all about my weekend, and the choices I had made. I thought I had loaded it to my blog successfully, but today it is not there. I guess it is floating out in cyberspace (is that one word?) somewhere.
Anyway, the skinny (pun intended) of it went something like:
-working nights sucks, but I love the people I work with and my job is pretty awesome, too
-people are starting to notice and say things, guess I need to figure out how to take a
compliment
-I tend to eat better while at work, I guess I figure people are watching me there
Hope this post finds you doing well!
n.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Just do it!
I set up this blog months ago, after becoming obsessed with the other lap band blogs I read. I had every intention to update my progress (with pics) a few times a week. I knew how therapeutic it was for me to read about experiences other "banders" have, and knew I would benefit form looking back on my own journey as well.
Why then have I not written a single post?
The only answer that I have came up with that makes any since is I am scared. Scared to fail, scared to dream, scared to open myself up...even scared to be ratted out to the people in my life I have not shared this decision with.
I only really feel guilty about not telling two people that I've been banded. The first is my BFF. We have been friends for 17 years (wow, are we getting old!). I opened up and told her all of the things I had to to be approved for the surgery, and how devastated I was to find out I was denied by my insurance company in Jan of '07. She didn't say much either way about what I had told her, so I left her out of the loop this time around. The other friend is someone battling a weight issue, too. I guess I feel guilty for being able to have this "helper" inside of me, when she is going at it alone. We have started walking together and even joined a Mom's Dance Class, but I feel like a fraud. I think I am going to work on opening up to her in the next week or so. I know she wont judge me, I just feel sad not everyone has the financial means to get banded!
All of my family knows and supports (at least now they do) my decision to have the surgery. They see how it is changing me, and giving me back parts of myself that were buried inside. I am not by any means the same person I was 3 1/2 months ago, before this amazing surgery, and I am not naive to think I will be the same at its conclusion. The 36 pounds I have lost are just the beginning. I am on a mission to find a healthy, more confident woman inside myself!
Why then have I not written a single post?
The only answer that I have came up with that makes any since is I am scared. Scared to fail, scared to dream, scared to open myself up...even scared to be ratted out to the people in my life I have not shared this decision with.
I only really feel guilty about not telling two people that I've been banded. The first is my BFF. We have been friends for 17 years (wow, are we getting old!). I opened up and told her all of the things I had to to be approved for the surgery, and how devastated I was to find out I was denied by my insurance company in Jan of '07. She didn't say much either way about what I had told her, so I left her out of the loop this time around. The other friend is someone battling a weight issue, too. I guess I feel guilty for being able to have this "helper" inside of me, when she is going at it alone. We have started walking together and even joined a Mom's Dance Class, but I feel like a fraud. I think I am going to work on opening up to her in the next week or so. I know she wont judge me, I just feel sad not everyone has the financial means to get banded!
All of my family knows and supports (at least now they do) my decision to have the surgery. They see how it is changing me, and giving me back parts of myself that were buried inside. I am not by any means the same person I was 3 1/2 months ago, before this amazing surgery, and I am not naive to think I will be the same at its conclusion. The 36 pounds I have lost are just the beginning. I am on a mission to find a healthy, more confident woman inside myself!
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