Hello again!
So September is here, summer is all but gone, and life is amazing! I hit my "goal" weight about two months ago. I don't remember the exact day, which seems kinda crazy. After dreaming about it for years, you would thing I would have hired someone to write it in the sky! Nope. Just another day. Actually, I think I jumped right past it. LOL!
I am currently down 125 pounds! CRAZY! I know!!! I have not seen this number on the scale, since...well, very early High School, maybe Middle School! I didn't think it was even an option at this point in my life, but here I am!
Is it hard to live here, at goal? NO, not at all! Life is amazing! I have so much energy and zest for life. I am such a happier person...I catch myself smiling for no reason at all! My kids love having a fun Mom who is not afraid to get up and dance with them in public, take them anywhere and everywhere because I don't feel like people are looking at me and I can be a good role model for what I want my kids to have in their lives!
I eat well, and have not had a "pb" in prob a month! That is good news for me, because I know my band is not too tight. I tend not to eat much in the morning, eat something small for lunch and them a good dinner. Usually I have a snack at night, too. Whatever I am doing, it working well and that makes me a happy camper!
I am eating a lot of fish right now, almost as if I crave it. I do use tarter sauce and it usually is breaded, but I don't eat anything else with it. I figure the breading is my carbs and the tarter sauce is my fat. This has helped me get my protein in, and in doing so, my hair loss has really slowed down!
This post is turning into a novel, but I wanted to document one last thing! This weekend we went home to Toledo for the first time in a while. While we were there, I head CRAZY things like I was "too thin" and that my face was looking sunken' in. Oh, and that I was looking old, too. LOL. Can you believe it? Too thin? I don't think so. Now, do I want to lose anymore weight? Nope, I want to just maintain my weight loss and eventually have PS to remove the extra skin. I know this will cause me to lose on the scale, but it is just deflated skin, so my "real body" won't change much.
Crazy stuff to think about!
Niki
Monday, September 7, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Feelin' Good!
It is hard to believe that it is already July!!! Where has the summer gone? I have been so busy, and have had MAJOR changes in my life, but no time to blog about that now...
I wanted to write about two things that happened in the last week that have left me feeling fantastic!!!
The other day our family spent the day at the local pool/water park. I felt pretty good wearing my suit, at least better than years past, but I was still worried about the extra skin you can see when I wear it. I tried to put that out of my mind and just have fun with my family. After about 10 min, my hubby looked at me with a shitty grin, and said " you are a MILF!" It took me a min to figure out what he said, but when I did, I just LOL!!! One, my hubby doesn't use the "f" word, so it was a little shocking...but more importantly, it make me feel good that my hubby was proud to have me at his side! (extra skin and all!)
One other night this week, we were goofing around before bedtime (like we always do) and I jumped on Russ' back. He turned around and looked at me with this face of amazement. He couldn't believe how light I was. He proceeded to pick me up on his back and dance and run around the house. I was laughing so hard! Not only did it feel good to let go and have some fun, but it has been years since someone has lifted me up like that. I felt like such a girl...and it felt great!
On the weight loss front, I am down 119! I am really excited that I only have 2 lbs to lose before I am at the goal I set for myself at the start of this journey! I am really going to look into PS before long. I don't want to spend another summer with my tire. LOL!
There are days that I wonder if I am too tight. I tend to have a PB about two or three times a month...mostly if I let myself get too hungry and eat too fast! For now, I am going to work on just slowing down, and not waiting for that bad hunger to set in!
More later!
Love, Niki
I wanted to write about two things that happened in the last week that have left me feeling fantastic!!!
The other day our family spent the day at the local pool/water park. I felt pretty good wearing my suit, at least better than years past, but I was still worried about the extra skin you can see when I wear it. I tried to put that out of my mind and just have fun with my family. After about 10 min, my hubby looked at me with a shitty grin, and said " you are a MILF!" It took me a min to figure out what he said, but when I did, I just LOL!!! One, my hubby doesn't use the "f" word, so it was a little shocking...but more importantly, it make me feel good that my hubby was proud to have me at his side! (extra skin and all!)
One other night this week, we were goofing around before bedtime (like we always do) and I jumped on Russ' back. He turned around and looked at me with this face of amazement. He couldn't believe how light I was. He proceeded to pick me up on his back and dance and run around the house. I was laughing so hard! Not only did it feel good to let go and have some fun, but it has been years since someone has lifted me up like that. I felt like such a girl...and it felt great!
On the weight loss front, I am down 119! I am really excited that I only have 2 lbs to lose before I am at the goal I set for myself at the start of this journey! I am really going to look into PS before long. I don't want to spend another summer with my tire. LOL!
There are days that I wonder if I am too tight. I tend to have a PB about two or three times a month...mostly if I let myself get too hungry and eat too fast! For now, I am going to work on just slowing down, and not waiting for that bad hunger to set in!
More later!
Love, Niki
Thursday, June 4, 2009
M.I.A.
You know the story...lots to do, little time, means no bloggin! Hard to believe my last blog was in December! So much has changed!!!
Grad school is going well. I spent a few days in KY and was able to eat the down-home food that was provided for us. I did gain 3 lbs while I was there...not too bad, but it stuck around for 6 weeks! Yikes, I know!
I went to have my 1 year check with Dr. Choban and she was very happy with my weight loss. I told her about my 6 week plateau, and she thought it was time for a fill. I was expecting a .25cc fill like the last time, but she put in .5cc. I should have told her that I thought it might be too much, but I was a little excited about it, too.
I have had a handful of stuck experiences, mostly when I have not followed band rules. I hit the 100 lb weight loss last month (14 months post op) and was really excited about that! My dad even sent me a check for 100$ (one for each lb lost) and a sweet card telling me how proud he is of me and my efforts.
I finally went shopping yesterday, and bought two outfits and a third shirt. I was shocked, but they were size 14! Woot! Big change from 26/28! I might start getting brave and put a few pics on here...before and after type pics are fun, but really hard for me to look at. I still can't believe where I was a year ago!
Something happened yesterday that hit me really hard. I was at the local Walmart getting my nails done (something else I started when I hit the 100 lb mark) and the Asian man doing my nails stopped and looked at a lady in one of the motor carts. He looked back at me, shaking his head, and said "so big!" I looked to see what he was talking about, and I knew. My heart broke. I felt so bad for that lady. The nail tech didn't stop. He said several comments about "why she not diet" and "lots so fat" I sat there listening to him, trying to figure out what to say.
I was so mad...mad at him for feeling so superior for being a "normal" size, but mad at myself for not going off on him. The only thing I said was "it is really hard." I sat there for the next 10 minutes thinking how many time had someone made that same comment about me. My heart broke over and over again!
I wonder when I will ever have the confidence to stand up against prejudice. That is exactly what it is...prejudice against heavy people. Fueled by the same ignorance that the Asian man may have experienced at some point in his life, but somehow looked upon as acceptable. What a shame!
I admit that there was a little part of myself that felt excited that he looked at me as "normal" sized, too. Not because I care what society thinks of me, but because my outside is starting feel as beautiful as my inside has always been!
Grad school is going well. I spent a few days in KY and was able to eat the down-home food that was provided for us. I did gain 3 lbs while I was there...not too bad, but it stuck around for 6 weeks! Yikes, I know!
I went to have my 1 year check with Dr. Choban and she was very happy with my weight loss. I told her about my 6 week plateau, and she thought it was time for a fill. I was expecting a .25cc fill like the last time, but she put in .5cc. I should have told her that I thought it might be too much, but I was a little excited about it, too.
I have had a handful of stuck experiences, mostly when I have not followed band rules. I hit the 100 lb weight loss last month (14 months post op) and was really excited about that! My dad even sent me a check for 100$ (one for each lb lost) and a sweet card telling me how proud he is of me and my efforts.
I finally went shopping yesterday, and bought two outfits and a third shirt. I was shocked, but they were size 14! Woot! Big change from 26/28! I might start getting brave and put a few pics on here...before and after type pics are fun, but really hard for me to look at. I still can't believe where I was a year ago!
Something happened yesterday that hit me really hard. I was at the local Walmart getting my nails done (something else I started when I hit the 100 lb mark) and the Asian man doing my nails stopped and looked at a lady in one of the motor carts. He looked back at me, shaking his head, and said "so big!" I looked to see what he was talking about, and I knew. My heart broke. I felt so bad for that lady. The nail tech didn't stop. He said several comments about "why she not diet" and "lots so fat" I sat there listening to him, trying to figure out what to say.
I was so mad...mad at him for feeling so superior for being a "normal" size, but mad at myself for not going off on him. The only thing I said was "it is really hard." I sat there for the next 10 minutes thinking how many time had someone made that same comment about me. My heart broke over and over again!
I wonder when I will ever have the confidence to stand up against prejudice. That is exactly what it is...prejudice against heavy people. Fueled by the same ignorance that the Asian man may have experienced at some point in his life, but somehow looked upon as acceptable. What a shame!
I admit that there was a little part of myself that felt excited that he looked at me as "normal" sized, too. Not because I care what society thinks of me, but because my outside is starting feel as beautiful as my inside has always been!
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